I’m afraid, guys, today I have nothing uplifting to share.
This day literally comes in the WAKE of an insomnia-ridden night. Partially this is my fault for drinking coffee too late when I could clearly see over the last few days that she would strike again and soon. Falling asleep had become increasingly hard.
Either way I had been awake until 3:30am-ish before I passed out only to lose control completely and sleep on and off until 1pm.
Needless to say my day is completely screwed up. All I have accomplished so far is to sort through my make up (which is sort of for this blog, so it wasn’t completely pointless). I hope I can manage to get my ass up and at least clean my room and get some laundry done before catching up on my uni-reading. Realistically that is not going to happen. Nothing of it.
Also needless to say, that I am very upset with myself. I hate myself when I get like this, this is not who I want to be and how I want to lead my life. And then there is this knot of anxiety in my stomach that is threatening to spin out of control and might cause more insomnia. This is a vicious circle if ever saw one.
So here it is. My concious decision to break through this shit and kick some anxiety-ass. If insomnia comes to play again tonight I shall just finish the last season of The Tudors and then we’ll see.
Again I am sorry I have nothing inflating for you. I might be on a down swing here. I promise I’ll try to fight it. Bear with me.