Sunday Round Up #22: Tomboy Edition. Football, Metal…

 

Good evening  Ladies (and Gentlemen?),

 

it’s time for a Sunday Round Up again, but first of all can we take a minute and celebrate what an awesome day for tolerance and love we had yesterday? Europe voted voted an Austrian drag queen to be song contest empress for a year, a resounding slap in the face of His Gross Idiocy Putin, and the twelve points from both Ireland and Spain were particularly remarkable (still two of the most catholic countries over here). For once I am actually proud of the lot of us. Also for the booing and whistling whenever anything Russian came  up. I know it must have been hard for the girls representing Russia and the lady reading their points and I am genuinly sorry that they had to suffer on behalf of their dickhead of a president but this was THE time to make it known what we think about Putin’s policies.

On top of that the NFL drafted its first openly gay player in Michael Sam. He made an extremely brave decision in coming out publicly even before the combine and now he gets the chance to compete and prove himself on the field. While I salute his bravery and I am glad that he received so much support from NFL veterans over twitter, etc. I can’t help but be saddened that we still make such a fuss about his sexual orientation. I hope we will soon reach the state where we don’t give a fig anymore about color of skin, religion, income/ education level and sexual orientation of a person.

That being said one last thing: Donald Sterling deserves all the bad things that are coming his way right now. That is all.

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screenshot from my phone: Epica~The Quantum Enigma cover

 

Let’s begin with some media shizz, shall we? I warned you, the Epica album would come up again and dear god it is a masterpiece! They went rather complex music-wise this time and every song includes both a choir and an orchestra. Production alone is exceptional on this piece, they managed to make everything sound incredible round and smooth without turning into a wishy washy blurr.
Epica may be the only one of my favorite bands  (whose new albums I already have, still have to wait about two more weeks to get Xandria and Lacuna Coil) who has not gone darker at all, they pretty much remained at their level, they may have even gone a little more positive (shock horror 😀 ). Epica have always had strong socio-critical and political messages in their songs, frontlady Simone Simons describes herself as a humanist (philsophical branch that I too subscribe to) and it shows. I am planning on doing a favorite quotes from my favorite songs series soon, because the music of Epica, Delain, Subway to Sally, Xandria, Within Temptation,… is one of the reasons why I am still alive right now. Without them speaking my mind when I couldn’t I wouldn’t have made it through.

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I am currently finishing the second book in the Sebastian Bergman-series (Hjorth&Rosenfeldt) and I really like it. It is more suspenseful than the first, and it has a lot of psychology in it, centering around a psychologist and all. I can really recommend it if you are into Scandinavian mysteries and some messed up shit. I have the third one already sitting here plus a new Rizzoli and Isles. I love my parrish library ❤

TV-wise I took it light this week and marathoned Happy Endings. Too bad it is gone, it was such a lovely comedy, one of the more intelligent ones. Speaking of dead shows, a ton of my favorite shows were cancelled over the last week  (May Madness). Over the last years I had been lucky but this time they got me good: no more Community, no more Suburgatory (those two hurt the most), then a couple of rookie comedies that I really enjoyed (Mixology, Bad Teacher, Enlisted, Surviving Jack) and 1 possibly 2 shows are renewed for a last season (Cougar Town, Hart of Dixie). Bittersweet that. At least Brooklyn Nine-Nine is back.

My girls are spoiling me rotten at a time when I can’t really spoil them back 😦 My lovely Munderoon gave me a signed copy of one of the German mystery series that I really like. It is SIGNED! I only have one more signed book and they are so special to me. Not sure where I am going to put it but it is going to be a special place.

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everyday make up… ’twas a lazy day today

What else is new? Well, nothing much so far. Make up is pretty much still the same stuff in the same combination as last week. I may do an updated skin care and hair care routine but I don’t want to put that here, right now.

I am in the process of getting my life back on track. Slow and steady. I will update you on that, too once I feel like I made sufficient progress.

Next week will see some decisions about my future and I will get to work with people who are writing their thesis right now, too. So loads of school stuff and hopefully 3 +1 days of work. That would be great.

Now let’s all make a tick under this week and move on into a new productive one!

 

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Sunday Round Up #19: Mini ‘Up Close and Personal’

Hey guys,

unfortunatly I will have to integrate some Up Close and Personal in this Sunday Round Up because the realization that I am going through stuff (again -.- ) is overshadowing everything right now. I tried to ignore it for weeks, I just pushed on, thinking that if I pretend it’s not there it will just go away. Today or actually last night, I reached the point where I just couldn’t overlook it anymore. I think it’s some sort of depression/anxiety combination, because actually I don’t feel completely numb and broken like I normally do when I’m under, this time it’s more as if someone has been sucking all the energy out of me. I am constantly stressed, I sleep in weird patterns, I am heartily exhausted, especially of myself. I overthink everything, I keep on falling short of the expectations that I have of myself as a human being. You know I am not fishing for sympathy or compliments here, that is not how UpCloseAndPersonal works. I am merely showing you where I’m at at the moment and where I want to go.

So, at the moment I feel like I am not a good friend at all. I am self-involved, easily distracted and unable to show feelings properly. Like how grateful I am for the friends that I have, and how wonderful people they are.
I know that this will blow over, that I will get a grip on myself and be a better person again, but right now 9:05pm in Germany I am down, I am exhausted and I don’t like myself.

I built myself a cocoon today, cranked up the heating, hid in bed (2 duvets, 2 sheepskins, roughly 10 pillows) and watched silly rom-coms ( I Give It a Year: pretty decent; The Sweetest Thing: complete shit, no nicer way to put it). I haven’t done this out of sheer need for a while. Actually I haven’t done that ever since I returned from Bayreuth. Not like that. I am not desperate or hurting, like I said, I am just exhausted and I feel like my caffeine overdose earlier this week ties in with that. Apparently I operated under the assumption that when I just cram enough caffeine into my body I will feel better. Nope. Just gives me headache, nausea and severe dehydration.

Where to go from here? Accepting that something is wrong is the first step, I think. This coming week is going to be stressful. I am catholic and this is the week leading up to Easter. As stressful as this week is I normally love it. I love Palm Sunday with its celebration but also the first shadows of what is to come on Good Friday, I love Maundy Thursday, where my whole parish gets together after mass to have a meal and then Good Friday. There is something so bleak and miserable about this day, no organ, no flowers and the crosses are covered up and for a little over 24 hrs the world seems to come to a standstill. My family fasts this day, so no meat, no jam, no candy basically just butter and bread and some fish for lunch, and one heck of a lot of easter preparations. On saturday then the Easter Night celebrations, my favorite part: Arriving at a completely dark church, then bringing in the Easter fire from the yard in a procession and then the church is slowly lit by candles, no artificial light until the big Gloria where all the bells are rung. And after mass more eating and drinking with the whole parish. Man, I love this week 🙂

Either way I’ll try to cut myself some slack, I won’t put too much pressure on myself, one step at a time and be them baby steps. And I will try to do things that are good for me. Catch some sun, rest, eat right, drink enough and re-focus. I guess I’ll try to just survive. I have the week after Easter off, that should help me to get better.

If you got this far and you are interested to get into the normal Sunday Round Up stuff let’s do that.

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1. Make Up Shizz
I don’t like my make up at the moment. It is never quite like I want it to be and even though my skin is as clear and as healthy as it will probably ever be, I feel like no matter what foundation I wear, it is blotchy and weird and don’t get me started on my eye make up. I’m still trying to find a way to make it all work. I am currently wearing my Catrice All Matt Plus again. It is slightly too dark at the moment but it’s not too bad. I actually started to apply this with my fingers (yep, weirded me out, too). I’m still no fan of getting make up all over my fingers but, the outcome is actually nicer and the coverage is better than with a brush (whysoever).
On my desperate search for a blush that was not too in your face, didn’t piss me off and was no bronzer I dug out my MAC The Perfect Cheek. It is probably the nudest most natural blush color there is. It saves me from looking like a ghost without making me look like a clown.

2.Media Shizz
Music-wise I am still listening to the new Delain and Subway to Sally albums and Epica has actually released a new song from their upcoming album which is called Unchain Utopia and it is just about as awesome as Essence of Silence. If all the songs on The Quantum Enigma are like this we have found ourselves a new all-time favorite album. And as per usual the lyrics are brilliant!
I have been catching up on Hart of Dixie, which is a testament to the state I am in at the moment and I am about to start season 4 of Friday Night Lights. Both are total pick-me-up shows for me (borrowed that expression from Snowhoney and find that it is perfect).
Book-wise I am about to finish Dark Secrets by Hjorth&Rosenfeldt and I have the second one in the Sebastian Bergman- series sitting here. So far it is a good solid murder mystery but not spectecularly awesome (Man, A Song of Ice and Fire has ruined me -.- or at least set the bar ridiculously high for what a good book is).

Other than that there was not much going on this week other than that I have worked five days (which also didn’t help much with my exhaustion)