The mental health blog is up and running and you can find it here:
and there is of course an update there dealing all with my insomnia. Do take a look if you fancy it.
The next big project is going to be the football/sports blog but that may take another week or so. And this blog will hopefully pick up the pace soon, too. Baby steps, people, baby steps!
I’m afraid, guys, today I have nothing uplifting to share.
This day literally comes in the WAKE of an insomnia-ridden night. Partially this is my fault for drinking coffee too late when I could clearly see over the last few days that she would strike again and soon. Falling asleep had become increasingly hard.
Either way I had been awake until 3:30am-ish before I passed out only to lose control completely and sleep on and off until 1pm.
Needless to say my day is completely screwed up. All I have accomplished so far is to sort through my make up (which is sort of for this blog, so it wasn’t completely pointless). I hope I can manage to get my ass up and at least clean my room and get some laundry done before catching up on my uni-reading. Realistically that is not going to happen. Nothing of it.
Also needless to say, that I am very upset with myself. I hate myself when I get like this, this is not who I want to be and how I want to lead my life. And then there is this knot of anxiety in my stomach that is threatening to spin out of control and might cause more insomnia. This is a vicious circle if ever saw one.
So here it is. My concious decision to break through this shit and kick some anxiety-ass. If insomnia comes to play again tonight I shall just finish the last season of The Tudors and then we’ll see.
Again I am sorry I have nothing inflating for you. I might be on a down swing here. I promise I’ll try to fight it. Bear with me.
So, what’s been going on? I had a busy week end, exactly nothing of what I wanted to do got done, especially that new ‘Up Close and Personal’ post I’ve been planning is still in the tube. My question now is whether I should post during the week or wait until the week end and turn this into sort of a series (feel free to weigh in on this). I’ve been spending a lot of time to come to terms with my chronic ailment and to find ways to push through when it is trying to de-rail my life again. Would you like to come on this journey with me? I would love to have you!
My YouTube Made Me Do It post went through the roof last week. The traffic was very unexpected. This was always planned as a series and I am going to continue it. I’m thinking about doing one every thursday (ish).
Life-wise there has been going on so much recently and positive things they were too, I am already terrified of the inevitable down swing. Hello Anxiety, nice to see you again! How idiotic is it to go all fidgety because life is kind of working out too smoothly. What IS too smoothly anyway? This is something I struggle with: the fear that when something good happens to me I will pay a terrible price for it. Jeez, gonna stop thinking and typing about this because this is making me positively superstitious and this is exactly NOT where I want to go. Gonna slap out of it now. (If you caught that reference you are awesome and I love you 🙂 )
Insomnia came to town again and I am afraid she’s not going anywhere anytime soon. I’m determined to have a good time with her, though. I have a couple of great books that need reading and a couple of awesome tv shows that need watching. So there. Take that, b*tch!
I will now resort to painting my nails and catching up on my youTube sub-box, like a good girl. Have a good night/morning/afternoon everyone! Don’t let life kick your ass, fight back, you are loved.
(Go on, find the hidden message in the tags! I keep on forgetting that wordpress sorts ’em by alphabet. #fail)