New Year’s Resolutions 2015 Books, Beauty, Life and #Project100Days


– Finish reading all the books that are currently open in my Goodreads to read box

– Finish at least one of the ones in the to read box before starting a new one

– Read all the books that I borrowed from people (DO NOT borrow new ones until the ‘old ones’ are done)

– 2015 Goodreads Challenge: 25 books


– Use up before buying new – NO EXCUSES

– Be better about my skin care routine

-Further reduce my make up and nail polish collection


– Cut the carbs

– Work out 3-4 times a week

– Blog at least once a week

– Be organized and proactive


The lovely bookbeauty started her #Project100Days  from today until April (10th) and I thought: What the heck I’ll hop on the bandwaggon, even though I am going to adapt it a little bit to my needs.

My #Project100Days will mostly consist of a buying ban because I need to break some habits here. I’ve been banging on about it but I really want to keep it up for the 100 days and then go from there.

The buying ban encompasses books (exception: the new Veronica Mars book which is to come out in 3 weeks and is already pre-ordered), make up and cosmetics (exception is a small list of things from that I want to get in the big Catrice/essence sales that are coming up and obviously necessities that I have run out of) and DVDs (exception here is The Croods, which is already on it’s way here and pretty much mandatory for any American football fan out there). And last but not least I am cutting candy. I don’t know how I am going to go about this, because I know my body will go on sugar withdrawles and I have no clue how to break those without stuffing my face with gummybears in the middle of the night. If you have any tips I’d be happy to read them.

For me #Project100Days is about finding happiness in what I have and breaking the drive to fix anything that is amiss with consumerism. This is about longterm happiness and focusing on what is truly important (to me) over of what just scratches the itch for like 5 seconds and to a degree it is about who I am versus who I want to be, after all we have just this one life to get it right.

I’m sorry if it sounds preachy  but I feel like I have been getting really good at figuring out what really makes me happy over the past months and then sticking with it. I had to or I would have lost my mind. I’m just done being lenient with things and people and it is quite liberating.

On a happier note: I hope you all had lovely holidays and a safe positive start into 2015. May it be better in every way than 2014.


Up Close and Personal: Goodbye 2013, Hello 2014

Oh you guys. This was supposed to be a very perky, happy, let’s all embrace 2014 and make it the best year we ever had-kinda post and now I am so sad.

One of the biggest blows of 2013 came right at the end of it. I’m getting a new boss at work, which obviously means I am losing the old one. To me that is a bit of a tragedy because my boss was one of the people who believed in me and watched out for me, supported me (quietly) when nobody else did. In a way he was my rock and now this rock is gone. His company is moving him to a new spot (where he says he doesn’t want to go), but the way it all went down makes it even more painful than it already is. I won’t go into more detail here, but I am very heartbroken right now. I know I will feel slightly better tomorrow but for now I am on the brink of crying when ever I think about it again. I never realized how much I relied on him protecting us, how much I took him for granted.

So yeah. Much like 2013 2014 starts with heartbreak.

Other than that 2013 was kind of okay. I had deep darkness as much as brilliant highlights. Highlights for me were taking control over my life to a much bigger level. I feel for once that I am on top of things, I sorted out a lot of stuff in 2013 that I had been running away from previously.
I started to see results in mental healing. I overcame fears that I had had for a long time and I relished it. Overcoming fears is one of my favorite things ever, because afterwards I feel like I am on top of the world 🙂
I am stronger now. Unforeseen obstacles don’t throw me for a loop anymore, I don’t panic as easily as I used to.
I learned to cry again. This is another sign that I am overcoming my depression. For years I simply wasn’t able to cry and when I did it was because I was f*cking furious and/or felt helpless. I can cry now because I am sad. After years of being dead inside. I am slowly, gradually learning to feel again.

The darkness in my life were anxiety, loss, pain and depression, anger, disdain and fury.

2014 will be an important year. I will graduate from college in the summer and move on to do my masters degree in the fall. This year I want to change my diet, live more healthily: mens sana in corpore sano. I will need all my strength and focus to achieve my degree without completely losing my mind, pushing everything off to the last minute and panicking in the end.
I want to be more proactive, stay on top of things. I want to move on to a job in my field in the fall.

I know there will be set backs, a lot of them, there will be more anger and tears, there will be panic and there will be insomnia and depression. I will take life one day at a time, though. I will let myself feel, allow myself time to grieve and heal.

Thank you, all of you that have been reading and supporting my Up Close and Personal-posts. I know they come kind of irregularly but I only want to post when I have something to say, I hope you are okay with that. I would love it if you came along in 2014 and joined me in my journey of getting a little better every day.

What are your goals for 2014? What do you take away from 2013?